More funks than you can funking handle. Mother funker.

An insight into the mind of a misanthropic gamer.

Thursday, 24 September 2009

The Diary of Nicola Marié Evans - August 28th 2277

August 28th 2277:

Dear Diary:

Well, exploring the Super-Duper Mart was eventful. I ran into this japanese guy, Taro his name was. He saved my life a few times, he's one hell of a good shot. He tell's me hes descended from a long line of Japanese-American commando's. They're skills were passed down from father to son, and it seems these skill's managed to live through the nuclear holocaust aswell.
The Super-duper mart was filled with raiders, I'm glad I ran into Taro outside. He handed me a spare assault rifle, and we ran through the raiders like a hot knife through butter. I got shot once, but it was nothing too painful. Taro taught me some medical tips, and the pain was gone straight away. I need to keep my eye out for bandages and stimpacks.
I found the raiders stash of drugs and food, and piled it into my brahmin-skin bag. Taro said he'd hang with me for a while, he says he's bored of travelling by himself. I could use a hand in defending myself anyway, I didn't kill any of the raiders in the Super-Duper mart. I just wounded one, and Taro executed her. It was a little gruesome, but I guess she deserved it.
When I got back to Megaton, Moira gave me a free suit of leather armour and some Morphine needles. The leather armour will help keep me from getting hurt and the morphine will keep me standing up when I do get hurt. Oh, I also found out what Cap's are. Cap's are the currency in the 'Capital Wasteland'. They're just bottlecaps from Nuka-Cola bottles. I found about 200 of them in the Super-Duper mart. I don;t know why the raiders had them though, if they just pillage places for their stuff. I'm going to pay that Moriarty fellow for info on where my Daddy has gotten to. Anyway, Nic out.

Sunday, 20 September 2009

Bus Girl

Wow, random blog reader, I really didnt expect you to read one of these. 'One of what?' I hear you ask. Well, I'm rather ashamed to admit it but this post is about girls. Yes, you know, those things that are like boys but with different naughty bit's. Ah, yeah, now you get me. Like your mother, yes.
Well I don't know if you know this, Random blog reader, but I'm not as charming and loveable as you'd think I was from all these blog posts. In reality, I'm a unconfident moron who's only charming in a cynical way(which isn't really appreciated by the ladies). Anyway, I'm going to tell you a story about 'Bus Girl'. I'd like to think of her as a symbol. A symbol, of how bad I am with girls.
One with the story, eh? Well last wednesday, I got on the bus for college(as usual). It was really crowded so, naturally, I was immediately pissed off. So, I fumbled into my pocket for my iPod, and turned up the fantastic music that is Avenged Sevenfold. As I looked up, I saw Bus Girl. Now, you're probably thinking she's some drop-dead gorgeous girl or something. Well, she wasn't. She was modestly pretty. Something I quite like in a lass, really. Usually, modestly pretty girls usually lose points in the pretty department but put them into the personality one.
You're also thinking I hit it off with her as well(which would be stupid, I already told you I'm shit with ladies). I didn't talk to her at all. I just kind of looked her occasionally, as I tend to do. It's a shame really, I've kind of lost my trail here. I guess, I'm done with this post? I have writer's block it seems. My genius has vanished for the night. Anyway, I pretty much told you this story anyway. Now, you may go weep because you're hero isn't all he cracked up to be. Fuck, I'm such an egomaniac. Fuck it, I'm done.

Monday, 14 September 2009

The Diary of -- Nah, i'm just fucking with you

I'm a tad bored with all these FO Diary updates. I love writing them, but five in a row is pushing it a little. I reckon you all deserve a nice little rant y'know? Bit of me to brighten up your day? Pahaha, reading these things probably pisses you off. Anyway, down to business.
You know what? I'm going to be clichéd for once, I'm going to bitch and moan about how shit college was. I went in today, to learn that my timetables been fucked with. Turns out, I dont have any lessons on a monday. I wish I'd been fucking told, it was a huge waste of a morning. My mum drove me up to the college, instead of sleeping. I spent a hour and forty five doing boring as shit admin stuff, like college rules. Then, I had to wait and hour and a half for a bus to show up thanks to that fucking bus strikes. Seriously, fuck bus drivers, I hate them.
Right, let's try and get some positivity up in this motherfucker. I get mondays off, fucking three day weekend! least I've got something to bloody look forward to. Right, I'm all out of positivity. Back to being that cynical dickhead you all know and hate then? Fuck it, I'm all ranted out. Later

Friday, 4 September 2009

The Diary of Nicola Marié Evans - August 27th 2277

August 27th 2277:

Dear Diary:


I'm finally over this little 'murder' thing. It took Mr. Simm's and Moira two days to convince me that Burke deserved it. Thinking about it, he did. He wanted to kill almost fifty people! That's crazy, these are good people. On the positive side, atleast I've got a good aim?

Mr Simm's said he owes me his life, so he gave me the keys to the house near the main gate. That's right, diary I know own my own house and I'm only 19! That's a pretty swell achievement dont you think? It's such a cool house. It has a bed ... with NO lice in it. I also have this cool butler, and a wierd Vault-Tec stand. I dont know what I'm meant to put on it, but I guess I'll keep my eye's peeled for any vault tec stuff.


I've decided to start doing some research for Moira as well, she's writing a book on surviving in the wasteland. It'd be helpful for me(I'll eventually have to leave this place) and any other travellers. Tomorrow morning I'll be checking out an old super-market just a little way east from the main gate. I'm meant to be looking for food and medicine. Anyway, it's time for my to go tinker with my rifle, keep my dexterity shart and all that. G'bye!

Wednesday, 26 August 2009

The Diary of Nicola Marié Evans - August 25nd 2277

August 25th 2277:


Dear Diary:


So, I asked Mr. Simm's about my father. He said he remember's seeing a guy fitting the description of my daddy going up to Moriarty's Salloon the day before I showed up. I checked it immediately, to see if the salloon's owner knew where my Daddy went. It turns out, Mr. Moriarty had seen my father, and knew exactly where he was headed. Guess what else? He wouldnt tell my anything without a fee of 100 'caps'. I have no idea what caps are, so I'll have to remember to ask Mr. Simms what they are.


I encountered two oddities in Moriartys salloon whilst I was there. The main one was a man who looked like, for lack of a better term, a corpse. After my conversation with Mr. Moriarty, I decided to have a chat with this corpse look-a-like. Turns out, his name was Gob and he was a 'Ghoul'. Ghouls are what humans become if they get too irradiated. They start losing their hair and bits of skin. Despite how scary they look, Ghouls dont seem to bad. one thing in particular I liked about Gob was that he kept calling me smoothskin. It's a charming term, makes me smile inside.

The other oddity was one 'Mister Burke'. He beckoned me over, and spoke in such a eloquent yet disturbing way. He didnt dilly-dally long, he pretty much got straight to the point. He wanted me to blow up Megaton. I had to stop myself from breaking into tears. What Burke asked was horrible. To destroy all these innocent people and such a fine example of a post-apocalytic town is montrous. I promptly slapped Burke, and left. I told Mr. Simm's what Mister Burke asked of me, and he immediatley drew his assault rifle. I decided I'd follow him to Moriarty's. Mr. Simm's tried to arrest Mister Burke, but Burke reached for his pistol. Being naturally perceptive, I saw this and grabbed my hunting rifle.


Diary, I killed him. I shot Burke square in the forehead. I feel sick to my stomach just thinking about it. All that blood, it ... it was disgusting. *sobbing noises* I .. I ran straight back to the common house and buried my head in the first empty bed I could find. I need some sleep diary, I'll tell you more tomorrow. B - *sniff* Bye.

The Diary of Nicola Marié Evans - August 24nd 2277

August 24th 2277:

Dear Diary:


So, over the past few days I've become quite the valuable member of society. I got some praise from the town by fixing up the pipes that supplied the town with water. Moira and Walter deserved that praise though, I mean they helped me a whole bunch. Walter told me where the leaks were and Moira gave me the know how to fixed them up. A hammer, a few nails and a piece or two of scrap metal can go a long way it seems.

I've been chatting with Moira about disarming that nasty nuke in the town center. She has the know-how, but doesn't want to upset the 'Church of The Children of Atom'. Oh yeah, I musn't have mentioned them yet. There a 'cult' of sorts that worship the Atomic Bomb. I don't know why the worship it, I don't really leave the common house much. I might pop round to their church sometime, and hear what they have to say. It might prove to be interesting.


I also need to remember to ask Mr. Siim's of he's seen anything of my father. I need to start looking for him as soon as I can. I'm almost ready to defend myself, I've become quite proficient with my 32. caliber hunting rifle and I've got a good aim with grenades. Oh darnit, I've just remembered I'm late for my shooting lesson. Gotta jet, later!

Monday, 17 August 2009

The Diary of Nicola Marié Evans - August 22nd 2277

August 22nd, 2277:

Dear Diary:

My stomach wound finally healed up. It's still a little sore, but Doc. Church has put me on med-x to numb the pain. It makes me feel a little nauseous, but that's better than me feeling a lot of pain, right? Anyway, enough about me and my poor tolerance to pain.

Mr. Simm's took my shooting today, and even gave me my own rifle. (Between you and me, it's a crappy rifle. I mean, it's being held together by duct tape). It's a standard bolt action rifle, chambered for 23. caliber or something. I don't really care about that. I wasn't very good at first, but eventually I managed to hit a few of the targets. Mr. Simm's tells me I'll get better with time.

I also met a nice lady called Moira Brown. She run's a shop called 'Craterside supply', near the old atomic bomb in the town centre. She taught me a few skills as a little 'welcome gift'. She gave me some pointers on repairing my rifle and also taught me a little about explosives. Yeah, yeah, I know what you're thinking. 'I'm only gonna blow myself up'. I just think setting up some mines and having some grenades handy would come in useful.


Anyway, that's all for today. I have to go help a guy called Walter with the water purification system. Should be real fun. Buh-bye.