More funks than you can funking handle. Mother funker.

An insight into the mind of a misanthropic gamer.

Saturday, 13 February 2010

Actually enjoying college now

You know what Blog Reader, I think it's time for a good old BAW post. I don't think I've done a proper one of these yet. I've definately done a FUU- post. You all loved that one, it seems. You'll probably hate this post, like the last. Not enough swearing, and everyone know's that there's nothing more hilarious than a cluster F-bomb. Anyway, onto the BAW:

Something must be wrong with me. I am really enjoying college now. The previously unliked people in my class have grown to become actually pretty decent people. There company is pretty damn good. What the hell is wrong with me?

Riddle me this Blog Reader, what if there's nothing wrong with me? Wierd isn't it, how can I enjoy the company of jocks and morons? I'm gonna go and say I must have adapted. Adapt or die, it's in our genes. My subconcious must have decided that I must get along with these guys to save me going on some sort of school shooting. As much as it seems like a would enjoy that, I assure you I wouldn't.

Adaption sucks though, as it's had an annoying second effect. I'm wanting to go and meet new people and shit. I want to socialise. I want to go out with a few mates, hit on some girls then stumble home, not remembering what happened an hour before. This isn't me. I sit at home, swear a lot on hate people. I'm the least suitable person to go out, hit on girls and get drunk. I'm more suitable for getting drunk, starting a fight and waking up in Norfolk missing a kidney.

Kinda wish I would stop wanting to go and be normal, getting drunk and hitting on girls. It isn't me. Can I has rage back?

Sunday, 7 February 2010

An actual good mood

Few things before I get started. First of all, I updated the layout (as you can probably tell). Now it looks less like it was shit out of whale and more like it actually had some effort put into it. Second, I want you to drop me a message on your preffered medium of communication(Messenger Pigeon, Smoke signals, whatever you crazy bastards like) if you read (and enjoy) this blog. Moar readers = better content. Anyway, on to the ranting:

You know what? I'm in a good mood. No, that isn't sarcasm. No, I'm not being ironic. Since I started Fuuu-ing at this blog I've been less of a rage-tastic dickbag. Only barely less, but less nontheless(HURR HURR). So as a result, this post is gonna be lacking in comedy value. And yes, I can hear you leaving. It's alright, go. I'll just talk to myself. Which I pretty much have been doing anyway, ba dum tish.

I think my brain did get the message, Redacted has been out of my mind recently. I haven't had a dream about her, she hasn't crossed my mind significantly. S'been pretty good. I'm not holding my breath though, I'm expecting a nut shot pretty damn soon. That grey bastard does hate me. Anyway, that leaves me with little else to talk about. As much as I hate her, Redacted provides some pretty good ranting material. Hey, Bitches are easy to complain about. Funny as well. If she were a nice chick and I did indeed like her it would be nowhere near as entertaining and five times more depressing.

As shit as this post has been, I think this will have to be it. I have nothing to talk about. At all. I'll be back to bitching and moaning about benign little things come Monday or Tuesday. I can guarrantee Redacted and Brain will conspire to piss me off by then. Later.

Thursday, 4 February 2010

Dreams fucking suck

You know the drill, I'm gonna bitch and moan again. I'm early this time as well, I didn't think I'd need to vent my rage so soon. Reasons enclosed:

Okay Brain, what the fuck? I thought you got it last time. I thought we'd come to some sort of an understanding. I thought we could be friends. just like the old days, when we would team up and turn dull plastic toys into magical beings of wonderment. What happended to those days? Why aren't we friends? WHY DONT YOU LOVE ME < / 3

Seriously though, what the hell was up last night? That was uncalled for. It was like pushing an elderly nun who has cancer down the stairs. I think we're all cool, all pals again. I think I'm gonna have a cool dream, like fighting Hitler and Bin Laden with Teddy MF Roosevelt at my back. Something epic. Totally unrelated to HER. But what do you do? Give me the best, most realistic, fucking brilliant dream ever. No need to double-take. Yeah, it was a fantastic dream. I am bitching about a brilliant dream.

A brilliant dream about HER. Seriously, fuck you. You're a lump of squishy gray shit. Fucking bacstabbing cunt. Why give me the most perfect dream ever about her? You know she doesn't like me. Why punish me? Why torment me? 'Hey Bren, this is what being with X would be like!' Do you enjoy doing this? Are you trying to crush what little enjoyment I get out of life? It's fucking working as well. I had to fucking socialise in college to cheer myself up from that. Even worse than that is you're making me think I like her. You just dont fucking quit. It's like you've shot out my kneecaps so I can't flee and you're slowly peeling off my skin just to hear me scream in pain. Falling for her is number two on the things I seriously don't want to do right now. One being go to college tomorrow.

Brain, I swear to God if I fall for her I will flip the shit fuck out. They'll be hell to pay. I might even fucking kill a guy. Or just drink myself into a coma. Either works. Fucking douchebag. I want her the fuck out of my head, got that? Good, cos if you don't get rid of her I will flip the shit fuck out. Eat a dick you grey piece of solidified failure.

Tuesday, 2 February 2010

Fuck You Brain

S'been a while since I updated this, though not like anyone gives a shit. I mean really, who the fuck even reads this anymore? It's like I'm writing for myself. I think I'm just gonna bust a nut out of rage for the shit of it really. Use this as a place to vent my anger and sadness(which is just more anger). So yeah:

Fuck you Brain, you piece of shit. Why do you hate me so much? It's not like I've done anything to you. Why the fuck do you plague my mind so much? Yeah, I get it, I talked to a girl. Doesn't mean you have to make her occupy my mind for the next week. What the fuck is up with that? I'm sure you have better things than to piss me off even further. I don't even like any of these girls? What are you trying to accomplish? Trying to make me like them? That won't fucking work. I'll just end up hating them. It's a fucking proven fact, and you of all organs should know. More I think, the more I hate. God Brain, grow a fucking brain. Fucking moron. Why the fuck did you have to pick her as well? She fucking doesn't like me. Unless you think that the dislike is just a cover for her true feelings. In which case, I think Penis is smarter than you. Fucking waste of cells. You'd think an organ tailored for thinking would at least be good at it. Instead, no you must plague my mind with a girl who I don't like and doesn't like me. I bet you get some kind of sick enjoyment out of it, you enjoy seeing me recoil in rage as I try to rid my head of her. You just bring her back. And Back. And Back, ad nauseum. Seriously Brain, I barely even like her and she seriously doesn't like me. Fucking end of her. I want her to stay out of my head. And don't think this is some greenlight to bring a fucking 'nother girl into there. If you do, I'll probably kill us both. Then what will kidney do? His blood will be on your hands. Yeah, you better think that over you useless piece of shit. Swear to God you piss me off, fucking twat.