More funks than you can funking handle. Mother funker.

An insight into the mind of a misanthropic gamer.

Wednesday, 29 July 2009

The Diary of Nicola Marié Evans - August 18th, 2277

August 18, 2277:

Dear Diary:

God, I dont .. I dont even know where to start. My Daddy, he left the Vault. He left early yesterday morning, just walked right out of the front door, so to speak. He left me in the vault because he wanted the best for me, because I was safe here. Yeah right! When the Overseer heard that Daddy left, he came hunting after me. I was lucky Amata found me first, she told me all this and helped me escape. On my escape, I helped Butch. Yeah, I know what you're thinking, he's and Asshole, why did I help him? Well, his Mom was being attacked by Radroaches and me being the nice girl I am helped her out. The roaches were no problem for my trusty BB gun. Butch gave me his jacket, as thanks for helping him out. He said I was an 'honourary Tunnel Snake'. A bit stupid if you ask me but whatever.

I uh ... I found Jonas dead outside the overseer office. I cant believe it, who would kill him? I broke down into tears when I found him. Took me a good few minutes to even think about leaving. Joans was such a good friend, I cant believe he's gone. He was such a nice man, always ready to help those who needed it. I found a holotape in his lab coat pocket. It explained why my Daddy left, to protect me. My Daddy will make the Overseer pay for what he's done when I find him. I promise Jonas that. I hacked the Overseers computer, and opened the secret tunnel Anata told me about.

Amata was waiting for me at the exit, she hugged me goodbye and wished me luck. I miss her already, and Ive only been gone a day. I headed straight for the old exit, and the giant vault Door closed behind me. I dont remember much that had happened after this, I opened the wooden gate into the outside and then its all fuzzy. Im recording this from a rusty shack, there's a bandage around my stomach and it hurts like hell. I hope someone shows up soon, I have a lot of questions to ask. Nic out.

The Diary of Nicola Marié Evans - August 3rd, 2274

August 3, 2274:

Dear Diary,

Today was pretty eventful. In both ways. Butch's bullying is getting out of hand, on my way to class I saw him teasing Amata. I stepped in and caused a dispute between him and Wally mack. It was pretty funny, Butch got told bad. It serves him right for being such as jerk. I dont think they'll be bothering Amata anymore, after this little rebellion. Daddy did always say I had a way with words, just like my Mother. I wish I could have met her, Daddy tells me such great stories about her. Anyway, I'm getting off the point. I took my GOAT today, the Generalised Occupational Aptitude Test.

Daddy made out like it was a big deal, but it was just an easy multiple choice quiz, all the answers were easy. I didnt get question 10 though, it seemed like a trick question. I mean, the answers were all the same what could it have meant? I just guessed and chose D - The Overseer, I think it was the right one. When I turned the test in to Mr. Brotch, he said I was going to be a Marriage Councilor. You hear that? Im going to help peoples marriages, just like I've always wanted. Well not exactly, but I have always wanted to help people so this is a pretty good start right?

I told Daddy and he was proud, although he'd hoped I would have been a Daddys Girl and became a Pyhsician Psyhician Physician(Man, I cant spell today) like he is. Guess you cant have everything right? Heheh. Im off to go start this book report on 'The Big Book Of Science'. Bye-Bye

The Diary of Nicola Marié Evans - July 13th 2268

July 13, 2268:

Dear Diary,

I had my tenth birthday party today, it was so fun! I got loads of cool gifts. Stanley gave me the coolest baseball cap, and it was my favorite colour, Red! Amata gave me an issue of Grognak The Barbarian, with no missing pages! Can you believe that? She is the coolest friend I could ask for. I just finished reading it, and it may sound silly but I could feel the barbarian inside of me growing stronger. Oh, I almost forgot Dad gave me a BB gun! How cool is that? And check this out, I killed a Radroach! A Radroach! It was awesome! But, it wasn't all great. Butch tried to beat me up because he wanted my sweetroll, what a jerk, am I right? Also, The overseer gave me this Pipboy. I hate it, it itches and it's heavy. I also start work tomorrow, it doesnt sound very fun but I'll hope for the best. Bye for now.

Monday, 27 July 2009

A reflection on today, and a word(or several actually) about the upcoming diaries.

So, another day has gone by when I have done bugger all. I'm starting to get quite bored of these days where I just sit around and game all day. Well, I actually went out for a little bit. Only to Ashton Park with Rob and Tom, but that only killed an hour of the day. I also realised I need to start going to the gym again. Need more upper body strength. I'm thinking I'm going to go tomorrow, because I'll really bloody need it then.
That's right, random blog reader, I'm doing something sociable tomorrow. Me and a few others are gonna go to Taybarns and eat our weight in food. Hopefully, going the gym tomorrow night will counterract this act of greed. I realy need to go to the gym mor
I think I better get to the gaming side of things? I mean, I imagine you're only here to here to listen to me talk about games. Well, the first few 'Fallout Diaries' are going up in the next day or two. I say first few, because it'll take a few to 'hook you in'. The first few will give you a feel of how the character starts out. Which is pretty important, as she'll change quite a bit throught the entries. I'm naming the Fallout Diaries 'The Diary of Nicola Marié Evans' as that's the name of my fallout character. it wont be a word-for-word reiteration of everything that happens in Fallout, it'll have it's own little twists and vignettes.
The Oblivion Diaries will start up a day or two after the Fallout ones. They'll be different in narrative style to the Fallout Diaries, as they'd be set in different worlds/time periods etc. The Oblivion character won't be anything like Nicola really. Hell, I haven't even decided anything about this character yet. So yeah, show's you how good I am at preperations eh? Like I said in my last post, watch this space. You'll have an episode of 'Brennans Social Stories' tomorrow(Working title, give me a break). So I guess you lot can pay attention to that, and it'll stave off your hunger for more of my brilliant writing. Brennan out.

Sunday, 26 July 2009

*Insert witty title here*

So yeah, you're hear wondering why you should be interesting in this shit. Well, currently there's nothing to be interesting in. I need to get the hang of this blogging business. You're not gonna see anything decent up here for a few days. What you will see(eventually), is some game recommendations, maybe a review if I feel ambitious enough, and some Fallout/Oblivion diaries. You'll also get rants. Basically, me complaining about how everyone sucks and the like. You won't care though, you'll find it funny. You'll probably feel a little insulted, but the laugh will be worth it. So yeah, watch this space.