More funks than you can funking handle. Mother funker.

An insight into the mind of a misanthropic gamer.

Monday, 21 December 2009

On Social Suicide

"Right now
Well it's finally time to face my fears
Gonna get the hell out of here
And create a fresher atmosphere
But the consequence is clear"
Social Suicide - Bad Religion

Social Suicide is something I seem to commit often. I guess I do it out of boredom. I seem to get bored with people, then take my excess anger out on them. Or I just grab the idiot ball and say something I shouldn't have. No matter what causes it, it happens. A lot. The only time I regret it is when it's accidental.

Most of the time, it's done on purpose. Sometime I just get bored with people, and want a break from them. Let's face it though, some people are really really annoying. You just want a break from their incessant whiny voice or childish antics. I mean, you've probably done it before. I doubt you can honestly tell me that you've never told an annoying person to Eff off because they won't leave you alone. Come on, don't deny it. There, glad you admitted it. While I don't directly tell them to eff off, I do commit social suicide with them. If it gets rid of an annoying person, then fuck it. Job well done. It just sucks when someone gets caught in the crossfire and thinks less of you because of it. Even worse so when they're a potential new friend.

I don't even know where I'm going with this. I've kind of just strung some bullshit together and called it a post. Bottom line - I commit social suicide a lot and I rarely regret it. Later.

Wednesday, 16 December 2009

The Diary of Nicola Marié Evans - August 29th 2277

August 29th, 2277:

Dear Diary:

Moriarty told me where to find my Daddy. He said that he went to the Galaxy News Radio building in the Chevy Chase district in the outskirts of D.C. I had a chat with Mr. Simms and Taro about D.C. and they say it's a warzone. They advised me to stay away until I got some better equipment and got better at shooting. I guess finding Daddy will have to wait, he should be fine without me. From what I've heard from the residents around here, Gee-Enn-Arr is a pretty safe place. Plus, Daddys pretty badass anyway so he should have got to there without any problem.

I'm doing some more work for Moira to help pay for the new equipment and extra supplies I'll need to the day or so long trip into D.C. She asked me to do two things; contract radiation sickness and travel to a place called 'Minefield'. These seem like pretty dangerous things, but Moira assured me that she would cure my radiation sickness as soon as I got back. She also taught me how to disarm mines. It's actually surprisingly easy, all you need to do is press the button in the center before it explodes. Given my perception and agility, I should find it nice and easy to get rid of those nasty murder tools. Moira said she'd give me a bonus if I brought her back a mine to study on.

I'm off to go hunting for some food with Taro and Billy Creel. Taro was on about hunting some 'Mirelurk', they sound pretty tasty. Anyway, buh-bye. *click*

Sunday, 11 October 2009

On Depression

So we meet again Random Blog Reader, decided to stop by and read my, quite frankly, amazing Fallout Blogs? Well, it's tough luck for you I guess I'm not planning on updating it at the moment. Instead, I've decided I'll do a more social post about some shit thats been bothering me.
So, RBR I'll admit it. Your god is depressed. Genuinely depressed. Now, I know that hearing this will probably send you spiralling into depression and maybe even suicide as well. I mean, how can someone as awesome and flawless as me get depressed? Well, it seems I'm TOO awesome and flawless. I've got nothing too look forward to, nothing special happenning. What's the point if I'm so good at everything? Trust me RBR, being orgasmically awesome gets boring.
I'm pretty damn lonely, no girl seems to think she's up to my god-like level of awesome so they dont bother with me. Videogaming is becoming boring because I'm so good at it. I've got nothing to do at all. I've even started going to other colleges on my monday off to entertain others with my prescence. That's how fucking bored I am. If I could make myself any less awesome, maybe even normal I would. It might be fun not being the greatest person ever for a bit. I might even get me some girls then.
I'm going to go look up some crazy voodoo magic, and see if I can't find me a way to make myself less feckin' epic. Later RBR.

Thursday, 24 September 2009

The Diary of Nicola Marié Evans - August 28th 2277

August 28th 2277:

Dear Diary:

Well, exploring the Super-Duper Mart was eventful. I ran into this japanese guy, Taro his name was. He saved my life a few times, he's one hell of a good shot. He tell's me hes descended from a long line of Japanese-American commando's. They're skills were passed down from father to son, and it seems these skill's managed to live through the nuclear holocaust aswell.
The Super-duper mart was filled with raiders, I'm glad I ran into Taro outside. He handed me a spare assault rifle, and we ran through the raiders like a hot knife through butter. I got shot once, but it was nothing too painful. Taro taught me some medical tips, and the pain was gone straight away. I need to keep my eye out for bandages and stimpacks.
I found the raiders stash of drugs and food, and piled it into my brahmin-skin bag. Taro said he'd hang with me for a while, he says he's bored of travelling by himself. I could use a hand in defending myself anyway, I didn't kill any of the raiders in the Super-Duper mart. I just wounded one, and Taro executed her. It was a little gruesome, but I guess she deserved it.
When I got back to Megaton, Moira gave me a free suit of leather armour and some Morphine needles. The leather armour will help keep me from getting hurt and the morphine will keep me standing up when I do get hurt. Oh, I also found out what Cap's are. Cap's are the currency in the 'Capital Wasteland'. They're just bottlecaps from Nuka-Cola bottles. I found about 200 of them in the Super-Duper mart. I don;t know why the raiders had them though, if they just pillage places for their stuff. I'm going to pay that Moriarty fellow for info on where my Daddy has gotten to. Anyway, Nic out.

Sunday, 20 September 2009

Bus Girl

Wow, random blog reader, I really didnt expect you to read one of these. 'One of what?' I hear you ask. Well, I'm rather ashamed to admit it but this post is about girls. Yes, you know, those things that are like boys but with different naughty bit's. Ah, yeah, now you get me. Like your mother, yes.
Well I don't know if you know this, Random blog reader, but I'm not as charming and loveable as you'd think I was from all these blog posts. In reality, I'm a unconfident moron who's only charming in a cynical way(which isn't really appreciated by the ladies). Anyway, I'm going to tell you a story about 'Bus Girl'. I'd like to think of her as a symbol. A symbol, of how bad I am with girls.
One with the story, eh? Well last wednesday, I got on the bus for college(as usual). It was really crowded so, naturally, I was immediately pissed off. So, I fumbled into my pocket for my iPod, and turned up the fantastic music that is Avenged Sevenfold. As I looked up, I saw Bus Girl. Now, you're probably thinking she's some drop-dead gorgeous girl or something. Well, she wasn't. She was modestly pretty. Something I quite like in a lass, really. Usually, modestly pretty girls usually lose points in the pretty department but put them into the personality one.
You're also thinking I hit it off with her as well(which would be stupid, I already told you I'm shit with ladies). I didn't talk to her at all. I just kind of looked her occasionally, as I tend to do. It's a shame really, I've kind of lost my trail here. I guess, I'm done with this post? I have writer's block it seems. My genius has vanished for the night. Anyway, I pretty much told you this story anyway. Now, you may go weep because you're hero isn't all he cracked up to be. Fuck, I'm such an egomaniac. Fuck it, I'm done.

Monday, 14 September 2009

The Diary of -- Nah, i'm just fucking with you

I'm a tad bored with all these FO Diary updates. I love writing them, but five in a row is pushing it a little. I reckon you all deserve a nice little rant y'know? Bit of me to brighten up your day? Pahaha, reading these things probably pisses you off. Anyway, down to business.
You know what? I'm going to be clichéd for once, I'm going to bitch and moan about how shit college was. I went in today, to learn that my timetables been fucked with. Turns out, I dont have any lessons on a monday. I wish I'd been fucking told, it was a huge waste of a morning. My mum drove me up to the college, instead of sleeping. I spent a hour and forty five doing boring as shit admin stuff, like college rules. Then, I had to wait and hour and a half for a bus to show up thanks to that fucking bus strikes. Seriously, fuck bus drivers, I hate them.
Right, let's try and get some positivity up in this motherfucker. I get mondays off, fucking three day weekend! least I've got something to bloody look forward to. Right, I'm all out of positivity. Back to being that cynical dickhead you all know and hate then? Fuck it, I'm all ranted out. Later

Friday, 4 September 2009

The Diary of Nicola Marié Evans - August 27th 2277

August 27th 2277:

Dear Diary:

I'm finally over this little 'murder' thing. It took Mr. Simm's and Moira two days to convince me that Burke deserved it. Thinking about it, he did. He wanted to kill almost fifty people! That's crazy, these are good people. On the positive side, atleast I've got a good aim?

Mr Simm's said he owes me his life, so he gave me the keys to the house near the main gate. That's right, diary I know own my own house and I'm only 19! That's a pretty swell achievement dont you think? It's such a cool house. It has a bed ... with NO lice in it. I also have this cool butler, and a wierd Vault-Tec stand. I dont know what I'm meant to put on it, but I guess I'll keep my eye's peeled for any vault tec stuff.

I've decided to start doing some research for Moira as well, she's writing a book on surviving in the wasteland. It'd be helpful for me(I'll eventually have to leave this place) and any other travellers. Tomorrow morning I'll be checking out an old super-market just a little way east from the main gate. I'm meant to be looking for food and medicine. Anyway, it's time for my to go tinker with my rifle, keep my dexterity shart and all that. G'bye!

Wednesday, 26 August 2009

The Diary of Nicola Marié Evans - August 25nd 2277

August 25th 2277:

Dear Diary:

So, I asked Mr. Simm's about my father. He said he remember's seeing a guy fitting the description of my daddy going up to Moriarty's Salloon the day before I showed up. I checked it immediately, to see if the salloon's owner knew where my Daddy went. It turns out, Mr. Moriarty had seen my father, and knew exactly where he was headed. Guess what else? He wouldnt tell my anything without a fee of 100 'caps'. I have no idea what caps are, so I'll have to remember to ask Mr. Simms what they are.

I encountered two oddities in Moriartys salloon whilst I was there. The main one was a man who looked like, for lack of a better term, a corpse. After my conversation with Mr. Moriarty, I decided to have a chat with this corpse look-a-like. Turns out, his name was Gob and he was a 'Ghoul'. Ghouls are what humans become if they get too irradiated. They start losing their hair and bits of skin. Despite how scary they look, Ghouls dont seem to bad. one thing in particular I liked about Gob was that he kept calling me smoothskin. It's a charming term, makes me smile inside.

The other oddity was one 'Mister Burke'. He beckoned me over, and spoke in such a eloquent yet disturbing way. He didnt dilly-dally long, he pretty much got straight to the point. He wanted me to blow up Megaton. I had to stop myself from breaking into tears. What Burke asked was horrible. To destroy all these innocent people and such a fine example of a post-apocalytic town is montrous. I promptly slapped Burke, and left. I told Mr. Simm's what Mister Burke asked of me, and he immediatley drew his assault rifle. I decided I'd follow him to Moriarty's. Mr. Simm's tried to arrest Mister Burke, but Burke reached for his pistol. Being naturally perceptive, I saw this and grabbed my hunting rifle.

Diary, I killed him. I shot Burke square in the forehead. I feel sick to my stomach just thinking about it. All that blood, it ... it was disgusting. *sobbing noises* I .. I ran straight back to the common house and buried my head in the first empty bed I could find. I need some sleep diary, I'll tell you more tomorrow. B - *sniff* Bye.

The Diary of Nicola Marié Evans - August 24nd 2277

August 24th 2277:

Dear Diary:

So, over the past few days I've become quite the valuable member of society. I got some praise from the town by fixing up the pipes that supplied the town with water. Moira and Walter deserved that praise though, I mean they helped me a whole bunch. Walter told me where the leaks were and Moira gave me the know how to fixed them up. A hammer, a few nails and a piece or two of scrap metal can go a long way it seems.

I've been chatting with Moira about disarming that nasty nuke in the town center. She has the know-how, but doesn't want to upset the 'Church of The Children of Atom'. Oh yeah, I musn't have mentioned them yet. There a 'cult' of sorts that worship the Atomic Bomb. I don't know why the worship it, I don't really leave the common house much. I might pop round to their church sometime, and hear what they have to say. It might prove to be interesting.

I also need to remember to ask Mr. Siim's of he's seen anything of my father. I need to start looking for him as soon as I can. I'm almost ready to defend myself, I've become quite proficient with my 32. caliber hunting rifle and I've got a good aim with grenades. Oh darnit, I've just remembered I'm late for my shooting lesson. Gotta jet, later!

Monday, 17 August 2009

The Diary of Nicola Marié Evans - August 22nd 2277

August 22nd, 2277:

Dear Diary:

My stomach wound finally healed up. It's still a little sore, but Doc. Church has put me on med-x to numb the pain. It makes me feel a little nauseous, but that's better than me feeling a lot of pain, right? Anyway, enough about me and my poor tolerance to pain.

Mr. Simm's took my shooting today, and even gave me my own rifle. (Between you and me, it's a crappy rifle. I mean, it's being held together by duct tape). It's a standard bolt action rifle, chambered for 23. caliber or something. I don't really care about that. I wasn't very good at first, but eventually I managed to hit a few of the targets. Mr. Simm's tells me I'll get better with time.

I also met a nice lady called Moira Brown. She run's a shop called 'Craterside supply', near the old atomic bomb in the town centre. She taught me a few skills as a little 'welcome gift'. She gave me some pointers on repairing my rifle and also taught me a little about explosives. Yeah, yeah, I know what you're thinking. 'I'm only gonna blow myself up'. I just think setting up some mines and having some grenades handy would come in useful.

Anyway, that's all for today. I have to go help a guy called Walter with the water purification system. Should be real fun. Buh-bye.

Saturday, 1 August 2009

Brens Social Stories: My first genuinely shit social experience

So, you guy's know about socialising don't you? Y'know, going outside with your friends, probably having some beers, hitting on some chicks, that kind of stuff? Well, I had my first genuinely shit Friday Night out. Be warned, this is probably going be rage-tacular.

First of all, we went to Aldi. I don't know why, but Aldi felt shit compared to the park. Hanging out on a Car Park isn't as good as chilling out at a park. Plus, we usually get removed from Aldi by the Police. That pisses me off. What's the point in going somewhere we are going to get removed from? it seem's pointless(However, I don't blame the police for moving us away from Aldi).

I eventually managed to persuade a few people to come along to the park. However, too many people came along. If you're reading this, then you should already know that I really don't like people. Groups of too many in one place tend to annoy me. I was expecting maybe six people to go along with us? Ended up with 10, maybe more. That's too many people for me. Possibly the worst part as well, was the lack of single girls. Now, don't get me wrong I wasn't planning to get off or anything last night. I just enjoy talking to girl's. Not so much with girl's who are in relationships though. Anyway, I'm getting into the 'Awkward to Explain' territory. Moving on.

The Park had too many fucking people there. Last week, was great. The Cop's came down and got rid of all the drunks and all the Chav's who had alcohol bailed. That left very few people, maybe 10 on the entire park. Fucking paradise. It ended up being Me, Matty, Mel and Shaun chilling at the roundabout. I enjoyed, nothing like chilling with an old friend and some new friends with a can of Stella in your hand, eh? Anyway, this time we were all in one spot. I can't really be arsed telling you everyone that was there. But there was too many. A few of them weren't even my friends. So they were like wasted 'slots' in the night, if you will. Hopefull, my next social experience will be much better.

This was episode one of 'Bren's Social Stories', I've been your host Bren. I hope I've offended you with this :D

The Diary of Nicola Marié Evans - August 19th, 2277

August 19th, 2277:

Dear Diary:

I found out what happened. After leaving the Vault, I was attacked by a Yo-Gi. No, no that's not right. It was a Yo-guy? No, it was a Yao-Guia. It's basically a mutated black bear. Mr. Simm's said it attacked me, but the town sniper Stockholm managed to kill it before it killed me. Then, Mr. Simm's brought me back to Doc. Church's clinic. Oh, sorry I'm getting ahead of myself. It turns out, the world isn't as bad as The Overseer made it out to be. It is bad, just not as bad as he said. Anyway, there's a town called 'Megaton' just a little way infront of Vault 101. I havent seen any of it yet, bar this clinic of course, but it's made entirely of scrap metal that was found in the surrounding areas. Doc. Church says I can't leave for a few more days. By then, my stomach wound should have healed up. It doesn't hurt that much anymore, but I better follow the Doc's orders to be on the safe side.

Mr. Simm's said he's gonna teach me to shoot. He say's shooting a valuable skill in the 'Capital Wasteland'. He say's it's 'Kill or be Killed'. I'm not too comfortable about killing another human being, but I think I'd be fine in killing a couple of those Yao Guia's, haha. I think I better get some rest, the Doc doesn't like me recording these diaries. He say's they 'break his concentration'. Anyway, later.

Wednesday, 29 July 2009

The Diary of Nicola Marié Evans - August 18th, 2277

August 18, 2277:

Dear Diary:

God, I dont .. I dont even know where to start. My Daddy, he left the Vault. He left early yesterday morning, just walked right out of the front door, so to speak. He left me in the vault because he wanted the best for me, because I was safe here. Yeah right! When the Overseer heard that Daddy left, he came hunting after me. I was lucky Amata found me first, she told me all this and helped me escape. On my escape, I helped Butch. Yeah, I know what you're thinking, he's and Asshole, why did I help him? Well, his Mom was being attacked by Radroaches and me being the nice girl I am helped her out. The roaches were no problem for my trusty BB gun. Butch gave me his jacket, as thanks for helping him out. He said I was an 'honourary Tunnel Snake'. A bit stupid if you ask me but whatever.

I uh ... I found Jonas dead outside the overseer office. I cant believe it, who would kill him? I broke down into tears when I found him. Took me a good few minutes to even think about leaving. Joans was such a good friend, I cant believe he's gone. He was such a nice man, always ready to help those who needed it. I found a holotape in his lab coat pocket. It explained why my Daddy left, to protect me. My Daddy will make the Overseer pay for what he's done when I find him. I promise Jonas that. I hacked the Overseers computer, and opened the secret tunnel Anata told me about.

Amata was waiting for me at the exit, she hugged me goodbye and wished me luck. I miss her already, and Ive only been gone a day. I headed straight for the old exit, and the giant vault Door closed behind me. I dont remember much that had happened after this, I opened the wooden gate into the outside and then its all fuzzy. Im recording this from a rusty shack, there's a bandage around my stomach and it hurts like hell. I hope someone shows up soon, I have a lot of questions to ask. Nic out.

The Diary of Nicola Marié Evans - August 3rd, 2274

August 3, 2274:

Dear Diary,

Today was pretty eventful. In both ways. Butch's bullying is getting out of hand, on my way to class I saw him teasing Amata. I stepped in and caused a dispute between him and Wally mack. It was pretty funny, Butch got told bad. It serves him right for being such as jerk. I dont think they'll be bothering Amata anymore, after this little rebellion. Daddy did always say I had a way with words, just like my Mother. I wish I could have met her, Daddy tells me such great stories about her. Anyway, I'm getting off the point. I took my GOAT today, the Generalised Occupational Aptitude Test.

Daddy made out like it was a big deal, but it was just an easy multiple choice quiz, all the answers were easy. I didnt get question 10 though, it seemed like a trick question. I mean, the answers were all the same what could it have meant? I just guessed and chose D - The Overseer, I think it was the right one. When I turned the test in to Mr. Brotch, he said I was going to be a Marriage Councilor. You hear that? Im going to help peoples marriages, just like I've always wanted. Well not exactly, but I have always wanted to help people so this is a pretty good start right?

I told Daddy and he was proud, although he'd hoped I would have been a Daddys Girl and became a Pyhsician Psyhician Physician(Man, I cant spell today) like he is. Guess you cant have everything right? Heheh. Im off to go start this book report on 'The Big Book Of Science'. Bye-Bye

The Diary of Nicola Marié Evans - July 13th 2268

July 13, 2268:

Dear Diary,

I had my tenth birthday party today, it was so fun! I got loads of cool gifts. Stanley gave me the coolest baseball cap, and it was my favorite colour, Red! Amata gave me an issue of Grognak The Barbarian, with no missing pages! Can you believe that? She is the coolest friend I could ask for. I just finished reading it, and it may sound silly but I could feel the barbarian inside of me growing stronger. Oh, I almost forgot Dad gave me a BB gun! How cool is that? And check this out, I killed a Radroach! A Radroach! It was awesome! But, it wasn't all great. Butch tried to beat me up because he wanted my sweetroll, what a jerk, am I right? Also, The overseer gave me this Pipboy. I hate it, it itches and it's heavy. I also start work tomorrow, it doesnt sound very fun but I'll hope for the best. Bye for now.

Monday, 27 July 2009

A reflection on today, and a word(or several actually) about the upcoming diaries.

So, another day has gone by when I have done bugger all. I'm starting to get quite bored of these days where I just sit around and game all day. Well, I actually went out for a little bit. Only to Ashton Park with Rob and Tom, but that only killed an hour of the day. I also realised I need to start going to the gym again. Need more upper body strength. I'm thinking I'm going to go tomorrow, because I'll really bloody need it then.
That's right, random blog reader, I'm doing something sociable tomorrow. Me and a few others are gonna go to Taybarns and eat our weight in food. Hopefully, going the gym tomorrow night will counterract this act of greed. I realy need to go to the gym mor
I think I better get to the gaming side of things? I mean, I imagine you're only here to here to listen to me talk about games. Well, the first few 'Fallout Diaries' are going up in the next day or two. I say first few, because it'll take a few to 'hook you in'. The first few will give you a feel of how the character starts out. Which is pretty important, as she'll change quite a bit throught the entries. I'm naming the Fallout Diaries 'The Diary of Nicola Marié Evans' as that's the name of my fallout character. it wont be a word-for-word reiteration of everything that happens in Fallout, it'll have it's own little twists and vignettes.
The Oblivion Diaries will start up a day or two after the Fallout ones. They'll be different in narrative style to the Fallout Diaries, as they'd be set in different worlds/time periods etc. The Oblivion character won't be anything like Nicola really. Hell, I haven't even decided anything about this character yet. So yeah, show's you how good I am at preperations eh? Like I said in my last post, watch this space. You'll have an episode of 'Brennans Social Stories' tomorrow(Working title, give me a break). So I guess you lot can pay attention to that, and it'll stave off your hunger for more of my brilliant writing. Brennan out.

Sunday, 26 July 2009

*Insert witty title here*

So yeah, you're hear wondering why you should be interesting in this shit. Well, currently there's nothing to be interesting in. I need to get the hang of this blogging business. You're not gonna see anything decent up here for a few days. What you will see(eventually), is some game recommendations, maybe a review if I feel ambitious enough, and some Fallout/Oblivion diaries. You'll also get rants. Basically, me complaining about how everyone sucks and the like. You won't care though, you'll find it funny. You'll probably feel a little insulted, but the laugh will be worth it. So yeah, watch this space.