More funks than you can funking handle. Mother funker.

An insight into the mind of a misanthropic gamer.

Wednesday, 26 August 2009

The Diary of Nicola Marié Evans - August 25nd 2277

August 25th 2277:

Dear Diary:

So, I asked Mr. Simm's about my father. He said he remember's seeing a guy fitting the description of my daddy going up to Moriarty's Salloon the day before I showed up. I checked it immediately, to see if the salloon's owner knew where my Daddy went. It turns out, Mr. Moriarty had seen my father, and knew exactly where he was headed. Guess what else? He wouldnt tell my anything without a fee of 100 'caps'. I have no idea what caps are, so I'll have to remember to ask Mr. Simms what they are.

I encountered two oddities in Moriartys salloon whilst I was there. The main one was a man who looked like, for lack of a better term, a corpse. After my conversation with Mr. Moriarty, I decided to have a chat with this corpse look-a-like. Turns out, his name was Gob and he was a 'Ghoul'. Ghouls are what humans become if they get too irradiated. They start losing their hair and bits of skin. Despite how scary they look, Ghouls dont seem to bad. one thing in particular I liked about Gob was that he kept calling me smoothskin. It's a charming term, makes me smile inside.

The other oddity was one 'Mister Burke'. He beckoned me over, and spoke in such a eloquent yet disturbing way. He didnt dilly-dally long, he pretty much got straight to the point. He wanted me to blow up Megaton. I had to stop myself from breaking into tears. What Burke asked was horrible. To destroy all these innocent people and such a fine example of a post-apocalytic town is montrous. I promptly slapped Burke, and left. I told Mr. Simm's what Mister Burke asked of me, and he immediatley drew his assault rifle. I decided I'd follow him to Moriarty's. Mr. Simm's tried to arrest Mister Burke, but Burke reached for his pistol. Being naturally perceptive, I saw this and grabbed my hunting rifle.

Diary, I killed him. I shot Burke square in the forehead. I feel sick to my stomach just thinking about it. All that blood, it ... it was disgusting. *sobbing noises* I .. I ran straight back to the common house and buried my head in the first empty bed I could find. I need some sleep diary, I'll tell you more tomorrow. B - *sniff* Bye.

The Diary of Nicola Marié Evans - August 24nd 2277

August 24th 2277:

Dear Diary:

So, over the past few days I've become quite the valuable member of society. I got some praise from the town by fixing up the pipes that supplied the town with water. Moira and Walter deserved that praise though, I mean they helped me a whole bunch. Walter told me where the leaks were and Moira gave me the know how to fixed them up. A hammer, a few nails and a piece or two of scrap metal can go a long way it seems.

I've been chatting with Moira about disarming that nasty nuke in the town center. She has the know-how, but doesn't want to upset the 'Church of The Children of Atom'. Oh yeah, I musn't have mentioned them yet. There a 'cult' of sorts that worship the Atomic Bomb. I don't know why the worship it, I don't really leave the common house much. I might pop round to their church sometime, and hear what they have to say. It might prove to be interesting.

I also need to remember to ask Mr. Siim's of he's seen anything of my father. I need to start looking for him as soon as I can. I'm almost ready to defend myself, I've become quite proficient with my 32. caliber hunting rifle and I've got a good aim with grenades. Oh darnit, I've just remembered I'm late for my shooting lesson. Gotta jet, later!

Monday, 17 August 2009

The Diary of Nicola Marié Evans - August 22nd 2277

August 22nd, 2277:

Dear Diary:

My stomach wound finally healed up. It's still a little sore, but Doc. Church has put me on med-x to numb the pain. It makes me feel a little nauseous, but that's better than me feeling a lot of pain, right? Anyway, enough about me and my poor tolerance to pain.

Mr. Simm's took my shooting today, and even gave me my own rifle. (Between you and me, it's a crappy rifle. I mean, it's being held together by duct tape). It's a standard bolt action rifle, chambered for 23. caliber or something. I don't really care about that. I wasn't very good at first, but eventually I managed to hit a few of the targets. Mr. Simm's tells me I'll get better with time.

I also met a nice lady called Moira Brown. She run's a shop called 'Craterside supply', near the old atomic bomb in the town centre. She taught me a few skills as a little 'welcome gift'. She gave me some pointers on repairing my rifle and also taught me a little about explosives. Yeah, yeah, I know what you're thinking. 'I'm only gonna blow myself up'. I just think setting up some mines and having some grenades handy would come in useful.

Anyway, that's all for today. I have to go help a guy called Walter with the water purification system. Should be real fun. Buh-bye.

Saturday, 1 August 2009

Brens Social Stories: My first genuinely shit social experience

So, you guy's know about socialising don't you? Y'know, going outside with your friends, probably having some beers, hitting on some chicks, that kind of stuff? Well, I had my first genuinely shit Friday Night out. Be warned, this is probably going be rage-tacular.

First of all, we went to Aldi. I don't know why, but Aldi felt shit compared to the park. Hanging out on a Car Park isn't as good as chilling out at a park. Plus, we usually get removed from Aldi by the Police. That pisses me off. What's the point in going somewhere we are going to get removed from? it seem's pointless(However, I don't blame the police for moving us away from Aldi).

I eventually managed to persuade a few people to come along to the park. However, too many people came along. If you're reading this, then you should already know that I really don't like people. Groups of too many in one place tend to annoy me. I was expecting maybe six people to go along with us? Ended up with 10, maybe more. That's too many people for me. Possibly the worst part as well, was the lack of single girls. Now, don't get me wrong I wasn't planning to get off or anything last night. I just enjoy talking to girl's. Not so much with girl's who are in relationships though. Anyway, I'm getting into the 'Awkward to Explain' territory. Moving on.

The Park had too many fucking people there. Last week, was great. The Cop's came down and got rid of all the drunks and all the Chav's who had alcohol bailed. That left very few people, maybe 10 on the entire park. Fucking paradise. It ended up being Me, Matty, Mel and Shaun chilling at the roundabout. I enjoyed, nothing like chilling with an old friend and some new friends with a can of Stella in your hand, eh? Anyway, this time we were all in one spot. I can't really be arsed telling you everyone that was there. But there was too many. A few of them weren't even my friends. So they were like wasted 'slots' in the night, if you will. Hopefull, my next social experience will be much better.

This was episode one of 'Bren's Social Stories', I've been your host Bren. I hope I've offended you with this :D

The Diary of Nicola Marié Evans - August 19th, 2277

August 19th, 2277:

Dear Diary:

I found out what happened. After leaving the Vault, I was attacked by a Yo-Gi. No, no that's not right. It was a Yo-guy? No, it was a Yao-Guia. It's basically a mutated black bear. Mr. Simm's said it attacked me, but the town sniper Stockholm managed to kill it before it killed me. Then, Mr. Simm's brought me back to Doc. Church's clinic. Oh, sorry I'm getting ahead of myself. It turns out, the world isn't as bad as The Overseer made it out to be. It is bad, just not as bad as he said. Anyway, there's a town called 'Megaton' just a little way infront of Vault 101. I havent seen any of it yet, bar this clinic of course, but it's made entirely of scrap metal that was found in the surrounding areas. Doc. Church says I can't leave for a few more days. By then, my stomach wound should have healed up. It doesn't hurt that much anymore, but I better follow the Doc's orders to be on the safe side.

Mr. Simm's said he's gonna teach me to shoot. He say's shooting a valuable skill in the 'Capital Wasteland'. He say's it's 'Kill or be Killed'. I'm not too comfortable about killing another human being, but I think I'd be fine in killing a couple of those Yao Guia's, haha. I think I better get some rest, the Doc doesn't like me recording these diaries. He say's they 'break his concentration'. Anyway, later.